some random feelings in progress...

Want so bad to do it all with spending quality time with family, be great support for the special one, $$$ making, ensuring health is taken care of, expanding in work. List looks like a few only, though why do i feel...disappointed? dissatisfied? or just feel that I can do a lot better in all of these things? staying optimistic has always been my survival tool. From the many harsh experiences during the growing up years in US to the life changing Move back to Malaysia, going forward and not looking back with regret has sculpted me to how I am today. Seeing the situation in a brighter light in situations have spared me the energy-drowning depression state. Although, what do you do when ur constantly badgered by negative energy?to be more specific --> whining with no resolution?I can actually FEEL my energy being SUCKED away from me, my cheery eyed crinkles instantly gone, lips locked tight not wanting to say anything cause anything being said could be thrown back in a yelling volume and all you want to do is scream!
Instead, over and over i've patiently let that ever-growing-scream subside while letting the negativity pass its state. Gotta admit its rather trying at times, many times....
Is it love and passion that blinds it momentarily?
Or is it logic that tells you its part of the character that needs nurturing?

Working on a new budget this month. So far so good, only getting the necessities. Food quality had to go down so looks like its fruits, chicken rice and PB & J i need to stick to. Cant be stressed worrying about next month til next month comes...

pulled groin muscle. it Fucking Hurts! J said it may take up to a month to heal. A FUCKING MONTH?! argh! there goes my flexibility and legs intensive training this month! =(

everytime April rolls around, I tend to be more emotional, I think...
I'm still all about No Regrets, though looking back just this once I need for self-reflection
Life is too short ya'll, seize ur opportunities and take ur chances!